I don't personally know anyone who was killed in the WTC attacks. The closest that I ever came to being involved in the tragedy is living in a state where a plane went down earlier than it was supposed to. Even though I've been blessed with an imagination that often times works far better than is good for my own state of mental health, I can't fathom what this date must be like every year for those who lost people they loved. I have lost people that I've loved, though...and I can't help but wonder how much deeper that loss would feel if every year I had to process my own grief while simultaneously trying to dodge the fact that a significant percentage of my countryfolk wanted to use my loss as a way to justify perpetuating horrible acts against other human beings.
Eye-for-an-eye vengeance is easily one of, if not the easiest emotional response to such a situation. Any time the forces of evil conspire to deprive us of precious moments with those we love, we're almost biologically driven to want someone to pay for that. And sadly, on just about any scale, vengeance is far easier and convenient to pursue than compassion. The problem with that path is that more or less it's like trying to heal an open wound by cutting a deeper one next to it so that looks lesser by comparison. It's like having a huge scab in an easy-to-reach place; the temptation is there to pick at it, the action brings immediate - albeit temporary - pleasure, and it's damned easy to do...it just inevitably leaves a huge fucking scar once the wound finally heals, and it takes a goddamn long time to heal.
For nine years, we've been collectively peeling off scabs. Some people have made tremendous profit off of it. At best estimate, roughly 12,246 country songs have been written on the subject - some jingoistic, some maudlin, a couple every now and then even manage to actually obtain poignancy - and the bumper-sticker-and-magnetic-ribbon industry is about the only recession proof thing we have going for us. Our primate brains have been thirsting for vengeance, leading us to send wave after wave of sons and daughters to war. The news media cashes in just in time for great ratings, whipping us into an annual frenzy of hatred when the vast majority of us hardly understand a damn thing about the people we think we're hating.
I've been a part of the human race for 28 years - nine of those are "post-9/11" and in all my youthful wisdom, I can't see a single fucking thing that any of those have accomplished in terms of healing the nation.
Einstein is rumored to have once declared the definition of insanity to be doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting the outcome to change. We've spent nine years going down this path...at what point do we consider the possibility that we've all gone insane?
Nine years ago, Bad Shit Happened To A Bunch Of Americans. On a daily, routine basis, Bad Shit happens to people all over the world. It's an unavoidable tragedy that comes with the "Human Existence" package. But after almost a decade of gathering in public square with pitchforks and torches at the ready, screaming for the head of the monster, we've all gotten nowhere. The people who lost spouses, parents, children, friends, and lovers haven't gotten them back. The grief hasn't really gone away. Maybe it's as good a time as any to try a new approach.
Several years ago, my state made national news when a lone gunman shot 10 girls at an Amish schoolhouse. He killed five. He also killed himself. In the days after that tragedy, something happened that even now, I get choked up reading about. I'm going to directly quote the Wiki article rather than try to put this in my own words:
On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, "We must not think evil of this man."[17][dead link] Another Amish father noted, "He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he's standing before a just God."[18]
Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, explained: "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts."[17][dead link]
A Roberts family spokesman said an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them.[19] Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts' widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts' sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.[20] The Amish have also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.[21] About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts' funeral,[20] and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of one of the victims.[22] Marie Roberts wrote an open letter to her Amish neighbors thanking them for their forgiveness, grace, and mercy. She wrote, "Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you."[22]
The Amish do not normally accept charity, but due to the extreme nature of the tragedy, donations were accepted. Richie Lauer, director of the Anabaptist Foundation, said the Amish community, whose religious beliefs prohibit them from having health insurance, will likely use the donations to help pay the medical costs of the hospitalized children.[23]
Some commentators criticized the swift and complete forgiveness with which the Amish responded, arguing that forgiveness is inappropriate when no remorse has been expressed, and that such an attitude runs the risk of denying the existence of evil;[24][25][26] others were supportive.[27][28] Donald Kraybill and two other scholars of Amish life noted that "letting go of grudges" is a deeply rooted value in Amish culture, which remembers forgiving martyrs including Dirk Willems and Jesus himself. They explained that the Amish willingness to forgo vengeance does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful.[29][30]
I wonder how different the political climate in this country would be if we had the ability to respond to tragedy in that manner. I know I sure as hell have a hard time with it, so I'm not really qualified to point fingers. I just have a lot of crazy ideas.
Would we find the healing we're desperately seeking if we read the Qu'ran instead of burning it? Shared a meal with a Muslim neighbor rather than setting loose the community watchdogs on them? Lent a helping hand to the construction of a holy place rather than crusading the torches to watch it burn? It's a crazy, crazy thought. Turning the other cheek is hard. But I remember reading somewhere that it was what we're supposed to do, and I recall the guy who said it was a pretty big deal.
Maybe instead of using tragedy as political currency, we could simply miss the ones we lost. Remember the good times, cherish the moments we shared with them, and then move on. Every minute we spend mourning our dead loved ones is a minute we spend ignoring our living ones; if anything, the events of 9/11/01 should remind us how few of those minutes we actually have.
Hate is easy. Vengeance is easy. But it's the difficult things that always seem to be worthwhile in the end. So perhaps, might I humbly suggest that you and I choose a different way of memorializing today. find someone you love and care about, and tell them exactly that. Tell someone you love them. In the words of A Silver Mt. Zion, "hang on to each other and every fucking thing you love." And maybe, as much as it sounds like new-age and hippy bullshit, that healing thing can actually start happening.
I don't know...it's just a thought.
W.James
1982-XXXX
1 comments:
right on agent!
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